Friends Are Overrated [A Ranting Matter]

Yeah, these jerks.

Maybe I'm just a lonely, bitter person. Maybe I had issues growing up. Maybe something just finally clicked in my head. Whatever it is, looking back on my past 16 years of experience with friendships made me realize that the whole hype about having as many friends imaginable is bullshit. 

Yep, I said it. Because it really is. Everyone talks about how important it is to seek friendship with every other person but it's unhealthy in a way. For me personally, by trying to make friends with everyone I was rendered unable to support myself when the time came. When I look back at the times where I had the most abundance of friends, it seemed like I had less worries. I mean, I was buddies with half the school right? 

 This is only a handful of 'em

I could tell everyone everything and I put my life out there on a billboard for all to see, allowing them to pick up my problems instead of dealing with them myself. I relied on all of the people around me for support. I acted out and did what I could to keep my place near the top. I don't think I was being myself back then. If anything, I was living my life through other people. Was I my own person? No, I was a puzzle pieced together by those I interacted with. I was not nearly as troubled then as I may seem now, but I'd rather be true to myself and unhappy than to be happily living a lie.

Now I don't want you to have the misconception that I'm a completely lonely popular-kid-hating sod who eats lunch alone and never talks to anyone. You know, the shady kid who wanders the halls each and everyday with a rain cloud over their head and sighs excessively?

Yeaahhhh, not me.

Well, I'm not that kid. As I got older, I found different values in my friendships. The amount of friendships I had dwindled, but by keeping my standards high and searching for different things, the quality of my friendships improved.

The number of people in real life who I actually consider good friends can be counted out on my fingers now. I have finally placed the barrier between acquaintance and friend. I hold a fair number of acquaintances, but nobody important enough to spend quality time with and nobody who I really hold in special regards to aside of class conversation.

Through my new focus on the quality of my relationships with people, I started forming into a real person. The true me. The me who gets emotional, who argues, questions, rants, and goes along her own way. Think about friendships like coins: A person can have 50 pennies in their pocket correct? While a generous amount of coins, they aren't really worth much. The person who holds three quarters has the greatest worth of coins but the smallest amount of them. You see?

 

Pennies make bastard friends.

 All I need in my life are a few quarters. One of my best friends, who I met shortly after turning 13, truly turned my life around. He was a true friend to me. Why? Well, partially because he wasn't afraid to kick my ass and tell me that I messed up. Everything I learned from him is worth a billion times any of the bullshit that my previous "friends" had thrown in my direction. Even if we don't last as friends, I'll keep what I've learned because the lessons I receive from others are values that I hold dear.

Since my personal evolution I may be less careless and have more things on my mind, but it is a price I'm willing to pay because I wouldn't touch my previous life with a 100 foot pole. 

My previous life. Figuratively.

Basically guys, don't go searching for all the friends you can round up. Don't lose yourself to other people. Keep your head and focus on finding good friends, because they are the ones that really matter. Being named "Most Popular" in the high school yearbook won't mean shit when life comes to smack you in the face. So don't look for a best bud in everyone because you're not going to find it. The right friendships will fall into place and you shouldn't take every single one too seriously. You'll know who your best friend is as time continues. My best friend is probably the person who kicks my ass at every video game, hates the same things I do (and with a passion), calls me at 3 AM just to annoy the hell out of me, and shines the biggest spotlight on my screw-ups and says: "You better fix that shit and learn from it".

Quality over quantity. 

Peace~