Thursday, June 16, 2011

BOYZ R SO LYK DUMB!!!!!!! [A Ranting Matter]

Happy Friday guys.

So I could probably go on to make hundreds of blogs about the stupid shit that some idiotic women post on the internet, but one little "Myspace Chain Story" I found let's me hit several different points that I'd like to make. I wasn't sure how to break this down but I figured I'd just post the original little "story" and just leave my comments along the way. The original chain message will be in blue text while my incredibly frustrated replies will be in [red text with brackets].

Let's go along then shall we? Here it is:


Girl: Hey

Boy: Hey

GIrl: can i tell you something?

Boy: What?

Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm falling in love with you.

Boy: Ok...

Girl: What do you mean 'ok'?

Boy: I don't like you like that...

Girl: Why not?

Boy: I can't tell you... maybe another time...

From then on, the girl kept asking the boy 'Why not?' whenever she saw him, and
he kept answering the same answer of 'I'll tell you later.' Finally the girl got
fed up.


[Of course she didn't leave the fucking guy alone. Typical. When a guy says he doesn't like you, pestering the ever-loving shit out of him isn't going to change his mind. It will most likely make him want to punch you in the teeth for not taking a hint and buzzing off. But remember people, the girl is supposed to be the hero in this bullshit tale so let's see what else she does...]

Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like me!

[Oh dear God. I knew from the start this chick was an annoying bitch. I'm starting to wonder whether this was actually an early draft of something Stephanie Myer wrote. *sigh* Again, pouting like a little 11-year-old may make other mindless girls feel sorry for her, but not me. THE GUY DOESN'T LIKE YOU. GIVE UP. GET A FUCKING LIFE DUMBASS.]


Boy: Do you really wanna know why?

Girl: Yes!

Boy: It's because you're uglier than ****! What's the point of going out with someone when they're not pretty?!

Girl: But... I...

Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone! 


[AAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAAAA! BURNED! Shouldn't have kept bothering him you dumbass, then maybe he wouldn't have snapped. ] 

The boy leaves and the girl is sitting there alone, crying her heart out. Then her cell phone rings.

Girl: Hello?

Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to go home, ok? I'll be home from work in a few hours.

Girl: Alright Mom.

Mom: I love you.

Girl: I love you too, Mom.

Mom: Bye Bye.

Girl: Bye

The girl heads home and once she got there, she went in the bathroom and looked
at herself in the mirror.

Girl: I'm not pretty enough... 


[He denied you for weeks. He told you to your FACE he didn't like you. He told you you were an ugly bitch. And you are STILL OBSESSING OVER WHAT THIS GUY THINKS. Cry harder emo girl, your low self-esteem is more hilarious than heart-breaking.] 


She set to work, knowing fully well what she was going to do. 2 hours later, her
Mom came home and heard the bath water running. She went upstairs to find the
hallway flooded so she knocked on the door. 


[Aside of the whole flooding thing, I assumed that the girl had gone through all this trouble giving herself a makeover. You know, makeup, new clothes, new hairstyle? Or she could've taken the alternate route where she just said "lolwtfever" and went along with her pathetic life not giving a shit.] 

Mom: Honey? Are you alright?

She opened the door and was shocked at the site. The bath was overflowing onto
the floor, and the water was tinted red. She walked over to see what was inside
and screamed. There, her little girl was lying with cuts all over her face and
wrists. Her Mom backed away and was going to run to call the police when
something caught her eye. On the mirror were these words written in blood: 'Am I pretty enough now?' 


[Should have fucking known this was going to take the emo tragedy route. OH GOD I FEEL SO SORRIEZ 4 HER CUZ SHE KILLDED HERSELF!!!!111 Are you fucking joking me? Let me get this shit straight--She MUTILATED HERSELF because some stupid guy didn't return her feelings and called her ugly? Am I supposed to feel...empowered as a woman because of this? Am I supposed to be like "YEAH BOYZ R DOUCHEBAGZ!!!!"? What a lovely way to promote self harm kids. Truly. I've been denied by guys too. You get the fuck over it and move on. End of story.]

 No one deserves to be told that by someone they love.


[They do if they're an irritating delusional bitch who obviously can't take "no" for an answer.]

A person's appearance doesn't count. What counts is their heart inside of them and their personality. No one wants to be told they're not good enough. 


[Maybe the guy just didn't fucking LIKE HER? She obviously had some serious issues so it's pretty understandable. Girls, don't ASSUME THE FUCK OUT OF EVERY SITUATION. Some people won't like you and some will. Don't over-analyze it and don't go all suicidal over it. This girl wasn't even in "love". She had a crush and/or was severely cockhungry. Just gtfo with this shit.]

I think I should just start writing my own Myspace/Facebook chain letters. Sadly, I don't think many people would like them. For example, here's one I would write now:

Girl: Hi

Boy: Sup

Girl: So umm...I kinda like you and maybe even...love you.

Boy: Uh, I only have you in like two class periods. We've talked like three times this year...

Girl: So, you don't love me back?

Boy: Well...no.

Girl: Oh...okay....

For the next few weeks the girl asked the boy ever single day why he didn't like her. She was overcome with sadness and depression and didn't know what to do. The boy, meanwhile, found himself agitated beyond belief and wanting nothing more than to rip out the girl's throat and never hear her shrill whiny voice again. He knew the next time she asked that he would snap.

Girl: WHY DON'T YOU LIKKEE MEEEEE????!!! ALL I EVER DO IS LOVE YOU AND YOU WON'T TELL ME WHYYY YOU CAN'T LOVE ME TOOOOO!!!!!!11111

Boy: BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING DUMB UGLY ASS ANNOYING COCKSUCKING FAT WHORE WHO IS SO STUPID AND IDIOTIC THAT HER SELF ESTEEM RELIES ON A GUY SHE BARELY KNOWS. WHAT'S THE POINT OF GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE WHEN THEY'RE NOT A SENSIBLE HUMAN BEING?

The girl burst into tears and the boy walked away without giving two shits. Later that night the girl decided to be selfish towards her loving family and instead of getting over the situation she jumped off of a bridge. The family gave their attention to her less retarded sister. The world was a slightly better place. 

Send this to 10 people and you will be rewarded with the knowledge that you are a half-decent human being.
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Peace out guys, comment if you'd like!

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